Transfiguration: Draco's Song (Parody)

Draco's Song: Transfiguration

   Tune of Anticipation*

We can never know what a witch

    may do!

But we're subject to their freaky ways.           

And I wonder if I'm really a ferret now?

Or hallucinatin'—some fungus thing I ate?

Transfiguration! Transfiguration...

is makin-me-change...

Is keepin' me changin'.

And I tell you how freaky it feels 

       to be this way—

   and how odd this fur feels to me.

But I! I threw up those worms

    I ate last night—when I was starvin' 

and so some worms looked good to me. 

Transfiguration! Transfiguration...

is makin' me change...

is keepin' me changin'.

And my father! 

He might not even know me.

I'm no human! 

But I don't know nature's ways! 

So I'll try! (I'll try!) and see if I 

can transform back

and be like I was—'cause

This don't look good on me!

    (This don't look good on me!) 

I need my mum, 'cause

This don't look good on me!

    (This don't look good on me!) 

(This don't look good on me!)

(This don't look good on me!)

(This don't look good on me!)

(This don't look good on me!)

...........

 *Version of Anticipation: 

   Carly Simon, Live, June 9, 1987,

   Martha's Vineyard, on YouTube. 

   That one may have been taken 

    down. This 1995 Version may work—

    not sure if the meter is the 

    same: 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=X-FsbW11tGA

Halfblood Prince of Slytherins' Lair (Song Parody)

Half-Blood Prince of Slyterins' Lair

Tune of Fresh Prince of Bel Air

This is a story all about how

My life got twist-turned upside down, 

And I'd like to take a minute and sit 

     right there: 

'Cuz I'm the Halfblood Prince of 

     Slytherins' lair.

In Midland, England, born and raised,

In a quaint park was where 

      I spent most of my days,

Chillin' out, maxin', relaxin'

      all hid—

I'd watch a young witch, Lily, 'n'er sis, 

     a muggle kid. 

I live on Spinner's End, a muggle street—

       no good—

In a low-class crib, in the neighborhood.

My muggle dad, Tobias—a jerk.

       He scares! 

My mum, a Gobstone witch named 

     Prince—She cares!

I left home at eleven, I had no fear 

'n' hopped the Hogwarts train—

My girl, Lily, was here!

Met Sirius and James—

      those jerks are rare!

But I thought, naw, forget it—

        "Yo, freaks! I don't care."

I pulled up to the castle—so glad I'd come! 

Potter makin' eyes at Lily—

"Yo James—kiss my bum!" 

He looked down on me and my greasy

      black hair—

Now I'm the Halfblood Prince of

      Slytherins' lair.